Twenty things about the Netherlands

05Feb11

Well as usual I am having all kinds of emotional reactions to returning from holiday. I always do. Coming back to my every day life always feels a little hum drum. Can you blame me though? I mean I love my life but dishes and laundry is kind of dull. Instead of ranting about it though I am just going to post a list. I like lists and I enjoy reading them on my other friends blogs. So here is my list about the things I love and hate about the Netherlands.

Like

1. The people – I really love Dutch people. So much I married one. They are funny, honest, direct and very giving most of the time. I find Dutch people incredibly easy to be around.
2. The lack of clutter – Things are just tidier there in general. There is something very feng shui and pleasing about Dutch houses. I mean I suppose there are Dutch slobs too but honestly I have never met one.
3. The art – They have tons of it! New art, old art, ugly art, pretty art. The design sections in the book stores are HUGE. The colours they use are bold and bright. I love the abundance of art and the focus on creativity and aesthetics as being important in life.
4. The food – Not that Dutch food is really all that gourmet. Actually it is kind of bland. But the QUALITY of the food is better.  And food goes bad.. quickly… like it is supposed to. Like food from our public markets do if we don’t eat it in a few days. Which makes me wonder. What the hell are we doing to our food to make it stay fresh so long? I mean I have had those carrots in my fridge for a month now and they aren’t limp at all.
5. The transit system – It actually works most of the time! You can get from A to B pretty easily. City to city travel is simple. And if you don’t want to take transit there are BIKE paths EVERYWHERE.
6. Bikes and biking - This ties into the comment above. Yes. Bike paths. Everywhere. It is totally glorious for someone like me who is used to cars pushing me off the road onto the side walk. They just make it easy to bike there. I love it! And I love all the sexy men and women with firm butts and long legs on their bikes.
7. The markets – One euro for a box of mangos. Really. The markets are actually cheap and filled to the brim with good food. Mmmmm.. and then there are fabrics and import stuff.. and bellydance supplies and antiques. All cheaper  than you would pay for it in a store. Which makes sense right? Because you aren’t paying high rent for a store front. Why are things more expensive at markets here?
8. The price of alcohol - You know I don’t even really drink any more so why would I like this? Well. I don’t know. Happy husband??? Cheap alcohol makes for fun parties and for some reason the lower prices don’t mean people drink more. Well… maybe they drink more often but I don’t see the same kind of sloshed fubar behaviour I see here. Maybe it is because we can’t afford to drink here very often so when we do our tolerance is all low and we get messy drunk. I just like how alcohol consumption is handled there and I think it has something to do with how affordable and readily available it is.
9. Dutch people’s sense of humour – Ummm ya… they aren’t very politically correct by Canadian standards, it is true. But they are funny and don’t seem take life quite so seriously. You just don’t see people get their knickers in a knot in the same way they do here. They just seem to poke fun at everything and everyone including themselves. I like it.
10. The focus on family – I don’t even really need to comment about this. Family is important. End of story. Even if they drive us crazy. I feel this attitude is lacking a little in Canada. Maybe it is because we are so spread out many us never see our families.

Dislike

1. Having to pay to use the bathroom – Every Dutch person I have talked to seem to accept this as reasonable because you need to pay to keep your bathrooms clean right? Whatever. I don’t pay for bathrooms in Mexico and they are dirty. I don’t pay for bathrooms here and they are clean. Sorry. I don’t buy it. If I spend money in your establishment I sure as hell don’t think you should charge me to pee. Besides… I pee far more than the average person in the day. Always have. Small bladder? I don’t think I should be financially penalized for that.
2. The lack of trees – I miss the trees when I am there. I love trees. It is a very deep thing with me. It just isn’t the same without them. Especially the evergreens.
3. The lack of mountains – Flat gets boring after a while.
4. The fact that when I smile at people in public they rarely smile back – This is just a cultural thing that seems to be about respect for privacy. In some ways I like the personal space you get when people don’t connect in public. It is kind of nice not always having the freak on the bus talk to me too! But I miss the smiling. It seems a little cold out without it.
5. The SMALL cups of coffee served with only one sugar, one creamer.. and a cookie I can’t eat – Ya… I like my coffee BIG and SWEET and STRONG! Especially if I am paying 2 euros for it. And the cookie is a nice idea to help combat coffee breath but I can’t eat wheat. How about some minty chocolate instead?
6. The lack of bathtubs – I know, I know.. the average bathroom there is too small to fit a bathtub. But god damn I miss a good soak when I am there. Showers just aren’t the same no matter how much you try to dress them up with fancy salt scrubs.
7. The fact that my allergies are just as bad there – Wet and damp equals mold. The Dutch houses are pretty mold free from what I can tell but the molds that I react to on the outside vegetation are just as bad there. Mold spores are in the air and my nose plugs up just as bad there as it does here.
8. Damp cold icky wind in the winter – Ya… so it is wet, grey and damp in the winter. And then this damn cold wind gets added into the equation. It is just a little depressing. Our next holiday is going to be somewhere warm.
9. Wheat and dairy – Gluten free and lactose intolerant are pretty much unheard of there. I just give in when I am there and eat what I am served. Congestion follows. It is funny though. I will say no wheat, no dairy and I get looked at like I am an alien. Then I get served rice pasta with cheese sauce and a side of bread… and some soya milk for my coffee. They try.. really they try. But they just don’t get it (well except for you Wendela).
10. They’ll yell at you in public, especially the oldies – Direct is.. well direct… and sometimes you do something stupid so you get yelled at. Dutch becomes an incredibly ugly language when it is being yelled. I am far too sensitive for that sort of thing. Although I appreciate the honest communication my conditioning to have stupidly polite manners makes the yelling unbearable. I cry. Luckily the yelling happens less often now that I sort of know my way around and have a better idea of what to do and not do when in the Netherlands.

Filed under: Family, Holidays, Humour   |  1 Comment

Paradigm shift?

31Dec10

This year has been a quite the year for me… In many ways it has been wonderful but I feel totally side swiped and ready to get back to some of the parts of my life that I have let go as of late. Being pregant and having a baby really took it out of me and so many of the things I used to do to keep myself sane have been shoved to the side as I struggle to keep up with day to day things. I can feel myself slipping down a pretty grumpy slope though and I know I need to make some time to get back to the things that keep my energy up and my stress levels down.

I have been thinking a lot about time lately… and my feeling that I have none of it. I think part of that comes down poor time management skills lately rather than actually not having time. I have been so worn and sleep deprived I certainly haven’t been functioning in the most sensible or rational mode. I have also been spending far too much time on social networking sites. It is interesting to notice the difference technology has made in my life. When Judah was a baby the internet wasn’t really in full swing. I found those early days with him dragged on a bit and I felt rather lonely. I don’t have that this time around and I believe social networking has a lot to do with that. The days zip by as I keep tabs on what hundreds of people are doing and saying via facebook or other networking sites. I feel less isolated for sure… but I also feel the lack of depth in the connections I am having online. I don’t have any illusions about me quitting social networking all together. I am far too “social” for that. Besides having a way to communicate with my friends and family abroad so easily is incredibly useful. However I do think it is eating up time that could be spent better so I have decided that in lieu of resolutions this year I will be taking a two week hiatus from social networking to see how it feels.

I have heard taking a “Facebook Fast” has been a life altering experience for many people. Really I am just curious to see what I do with the extra time. It is only snippets of time here and there that I am online. Hardly enough to really accomplish anything. Still I think some moments of staring into space while the baby is breastfeeding or taking ten minutes to read a book while the baby naps could be really enjoyable. Maybe I can even get a little bit of yoga in there… you know.. those things I miss. I also want to take the time during this experiment to see what I miss about social networking. I have my hunches but I am curious to see what comes up once I am no longer online. I guess I just want to take some time to really be here.. and by here I mean in my life, my real life, with smells and sounds and tastes. I am excited for this time.. and a little nervous for some strange reason.

Filed under: Blogging, Social Networking   |  1 Comment
Tags: facebook fast, resolution

Long time no blog.

19Dec10

It has been a while since I have written here. Well that isn’t really true. I have several unfinished posts that I have written but I have been interrupted midstream by a baby calling out for me. Such is life with a baby I guess. Facebook updates are more my speed these days. Everything in my life lately seems to happen in short little bursts when I get the odd break.  Things have been okay. Really I feel like I am surviving more than anything. I love my little girl to bits and she brings a lot of laughter into my life but I am feeling pretty isolated and missing my community. I have whined a bit about this in the past and the general comments I have received is that the community is there I just have to ask for it. And I suppose it is… sort of. It just takes so much planning and scheduling and organization to arrange community and I am already feeling far too overwhelmed with planning and scheduling things for my family. I know this is selfish.. but I just don’t have the energy to track down my community and yet I am desperately missing it.

Luckily I have found a group of women in this baby group I go to that I like. I tried to go to baby groups when Judah was little but the dynamics in the groups always drove me a little nuts. I mean really… it does getting boring talking about diapers, poo, and snot ALL THE TIME. I like the Mothering Touch crew though. It is full of interesting women with lives that extend beyond their children. I am trying to reach out there and make some more connections with people that are a similar situation as me. I certainly notice the feelings of isolation grow again when I am unable to make it to this group for a few weeks.

I am very happy for the holidays. Having the boy around… More parties.. more socialization. I am hoping seeing some friends will feed my soul a little and carry me through these dark days and out the other side. And we are going away in January which will be a nice lift in all of this day in day out “feed/change/play/ repeat” thing that my life has become.  I know someday when I am too busy.. too stressed… and have too much going on I will look back on these days with fondness. You would figure I would have gotten over the whole “grass is always greener” thing by now. But there you have it. Babblings from a reluctant housewife.

Filed under: Family, Health, Holidays   |  1 Comment

Rainy season is upon us again

13Sep10

Here it is again. Fall. I am trying to find the gratitude towards this season but it isn’t really working. Sorry kids. I find this grey weather depressing. And my house is the coldest darkest house in Victoria. I am sure of it. We have nicknamed it “The Refrigerator”. The thought of another winter in “The Refrigerator” sounds extremely unappealing. Really I have battled a bit with winter depression since I was a teenager. Maybe longer. I don’t remember. I am okay in freezing cold snow but damp wet grey weather just gets to me. I always feel the worst in September and then again in January. I LOVE Christmas. Something about all the Christmas lights coming out in the darkest of days greatly appeals to me. The twinkles make me feel better.

I had found a cure for my winter blues with surfing. Being on the water gives me enough light. Being in nature feeds me. The physical exercise surfing requires gets my own natural happy drugs pumping through my system. Last year I wasn’t allowed to surf because of my pregnancy. I am physically allowed to this year but I am not sure how I am going to manage it. Although I LOVE the idea of playing in the rain on a cold wet beach I don’t think my husband is quite so keen on it. He doesn’t have a wetsuit. He would be stuck on the shore getting soaked with a baby who likely would be fussy and pretty unimpressed herself. I think he will tolerate a few surf trips but I suspect my normal pattern of living at the beach every weekend October through January will be unreasonable. So now I need to find another avenue… So far drinking more coffee than I should be, listening to slow depressing songs and surfing facebook has been my approach. It isn’t working… I am open to some new ideas… Any suggestions on how to survive winter would be gladly accepted.

For now I will look at my daughter’s happy face (see pic above) and listen to my son’s insane laughter from behind the shut door of his room (ahhh  the teen years) to try to help brighten my days. And I will try to make it to yoga and dance and see my friends and eat warm healthy food with them.. and I’ll savour the rare moments I get to feel my husbands warm body against mine in bed. Hopefully these things will get me through this winter.

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Double Rainbow…

31Jul10

So my friend Joseph posted some rainbow songs  on his facebook page which had me in tears laughing. As it ends up the songs are making fun of an original video uploaded to facebook of some guy flipping out about a double rainbow he saw in Yosemite park (video above). The original video had me laughing even harder and I was convinced the guy was on some intense drugs but apparently he wasn’t. He was just knocked over, blissed out and blown away by this amazing rainbow. As he says it was god talking to him. The thing is when you hear his voice it really does sound like that is what he feels is happening.

What I found interesting is though wasn’t how funny the video was. If it was just that I would have watched it… laughed till I peed… and then moved onto the next link. No… what I found interesting was how the video made me feel. I have to admit I felt moved by it and although I tend to be less of a screamer when I am excited his reaction reminded me of some magical moments in my life where I was brought to tears by the sheer beauty of it all. Moments where god spoke to me or something like that. Not that I believe in god in a traditional sense but there have been moments where I felt something huge. Moments that have changed who I am. Moments that still fill me with utter joy when I think of them. I have tried to describe these moments to people but every time I do it comes out all wrong. Usually whoever I am talking to looks at me a little strange and like they are wondering if perhaps I am off my rocker. What I have realized is that these moments can’t really be put into words. Some things just fall flat when they are being described.

This video is funny but it is also pretty tacky. Despite that though it has been viewed over 8 millions times. Now the guy is being interviewed by all these huge television programs and nothing is really coming across. It all seems a little embarrassing and silly. How can he really describe what happened to him? It is like trying to remember an acid trip after the drugs have worn off. Yet somehow after I watched the video the trees looked a little prettier today, the light was a little brighter and the colours outside seemed a little more vibrant. And I felt happier. Somehow.. something got through from this video and made a difference in my day.

Filed under: God, Humour   |  2 Comments
Tags: Double Rainbow, double rainbow guy

Baby steps (both figuratively and literally)

10Jul10

My posts have been less frequent. That is what happens when you have a baby around the house. Everything I do has to be easily broken down into ten minute segments because I get interrupted so often. Facebook updates are manageable. Well thought out blogs posts less so.

Life has changed. Drastically. The adjustment is a bit difficult. One day I am working full time, going to yoga several times a week, surfing, dancing, camping, raising an almost-teenage boy with a full calendar of his own … then without much adjustment time I am suddenly at home all day. Everything is S L O W…  Everything is about F E E D I N G baby. I spend a lot of time being the boob while I stare off into space. I feel a little trapped. I know I should be enjoying this and in many ways I am. Truth is though, despite all my grumbling about always having too much on my plate, I have come to realize that I kind of prefer it that way.  I just don’t feel like I am one of those natural stay at home baby moms you know? I go to these baby groups and so many of the women have everything all plotted out. They put so much effort into all of it. They seem to take such pride in being moms. I wonder if perhaps I am a bit lazy when it comes to my parenting. I feel kind of out of place around other new moms.

I have found myself feeling a bit isolated. Part of that is my own doing. People have offered visits.. people have called. I just felt a little too overwhelmed at first to get much visiting in. Even now I still feel overwhelmed depending on the day. I miss the coffee shop days. Socialization that was casual, always there and that I could leave from when I wanted to. I miss “hanging out”. When I book a time to see someone  lately I feel too committed. I never know what my day will be like. Will it be a good day to socialize? Or will Freya’s gas and moods overtake our day making any visit at all a ridiculous thing. It is hard to work with a calendar and appointments when there is a little baby involved. I suppose that’s why there are baby groups. So you can meet other moms who are going through the same thing. The thing is…. I always feels like an outsider at baby groups. Everything is TOO much about baby. I mean there are other things to talk about right? Course then when I meet with my friends who don’t have new babies I hear myself talking TOO much about baby. I am not sure what the answer is here. Thankfully there are a few birthday barbecues coming up which should settle my feelings of isolation a little. I am sure some food with friends will help a lot.

I know this phase is short. It does get easier.. it is already getting easier. Every day Freya is stronger and more able to do things. She takes a bottle from her dad (although it is a little rough going some days). She likes the stroller which is giving me some much needed walks OUT of the house. She is starting to tolerate the car better.  I know I should cherish these moments and I do.. but goddamn I wanna go surfing… and I want to go the Hootenany and get drunk.. and I want to go camping… Sigh. Soon. I know. I’m hanging in there.

Filed under: Family   |  2 Comments
Tags: baby, cabin fever, newborn

Falling in love again…

22May10

It is odd having another child so long after my first one. Just as I was getting into the swing of enjoying the independence and freedom of having an older child I decided to make the huge commitment to a new child and start the work all over again. And it is work. A lot of work. I hadn’t forgotten. It is just like I remember it. Babies eat almost every moment of your existence the first few months. I feel like a feeding machine. The mere act of going to the store seems like a huge effort right now. Oh.. and the diapers.. god babies shit and pee a lot! I had forgotten about that part. Freya’s speciality is shitting mere seconds after getting a new diaper put on. The double change. It is astounding how something so little can produce so much excrement.

Luckily with all this new responsibility comes a whack load of hormones that make the adjustment from “me” to “we” much easier.  The floods of oxytocin make everything feel okay. Wonderful in fact.  Having a baby is like falling in love. I find myself opening up and softening. I feel touched.. I feel raw. I love her madly and yet I barely know her. It is like that wonderous time with a new lover when you can’t see any of their faults. Everything they do is amazing and gettting to know every part of them and their body is an adventure.

In general the adjustment to a baby has been easier this time around. I suppose part of that is just because I have done it before. I don’t seem to be getting the postpartum lows that I got last time. My marriage is more stable too which must make a huge difference. Although I don’t think my ex and I had really admitted it to ourselves I think we both knew when Judah was born that our marriage was going to be ending. I really felt like I was doing it on my own. My ex tried but I didn’t feel supported..  Admittely there was a lot of areas where I didn’t give him a fair chance though. Only time allowed me to see where I blocked his efforts when he did try. I just already felt like a single mom from the moment Judah was born and that left a feeling of sadness mixed in with all the new happy mom feelings. This time I feel like we are more of a  family.. the four of us. I am happy.  A little worn around the edges… but very happy.

Filed under: Family   |  1 Comment

A bit of a wake up call..

30Jan10

I am suffering a bit from post holiday blues… Two days back and already my stress levels are rising. The house is a mess. It has been for months. There are just piles of crap not being dealt with and new stuff coming in that is just randomly being shoved wherever there is space. There is moldy food in the fridge and everything is dusty. The amount of work I have to get done at my job before I leave for maternity is pretty much impossible and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed with my life as it normally sits.

It was a bit of a wake up call coming home. Things are not working in my life right now and I obviously need some re-prioritizing so that I can move forward happy rather than frustrated. I suppose part of this has come about because I am pregnant and I am trying to live a full life with a rather dramatically reduced energy level.  But still.. I think some reevaluation is needed. First and foremost.. I want to get rid of about half the crap that has piled up in my house and the crap that is left needs a place so some shelves need to be bought, a drill, and some coat racks. Whatever doesn’t fit after that is going out. It was funny… when I came home I went into the bathroom and the first thing I wanted to do was throw everything in there out. I had been living a full life and had managed to fit everything I needed in a travel bag so why the hell do I have a bathroom full of products?

We are so consumer driven.. we have so much stuff. I feel almost drowned in this fact whenever I come back from a trip. Truth is.. I am nomadic.. I happier living out of a backpack. Now how the hell am I going to translate this simplicity to being a family of four? I have no real idea but I think simplifying life is pretty vital for me and is something I need to focus on.

The other thing I have realized is that all my normal stress reducing activities have pretty much taken a back seat in my life. Part of that is pregnancy again. I am not actually allowed to mountain bike, do active yoga, or surf right now.. but when I think about those activities I realize that part of the stress release was just being outside.. or being in a studio.. away from my house, away from the cell phone and the computer.  If  I can’t actually be a nomad right now I can at least give myself a few hours on the weekends taking myself to the woods… I can at least provide myself with some studio time somewhere where I actually allow myself to rest and reset. I can take time for myself..  I need to take time for myself.

I suppose it is good that I went away.. just so I could remember that feeling of being happy. I hadn’t even realized I was unhappy to be honest until I felt the tension melt away.  So often we have this idea that life is supposed to be hard but I don’t believe it. We aren’t here to struggle and we aren’t here to be stressed.  My priority for the next little while is going to be looking at areas  of my life I can simplify. More quiet time. More surrounding myself with beauty and taking some moments to just be.. rather than do.

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It is so bloody hot here..

21Jan10

Although I love it in many ways and the heat is such a relief from the Canadian winter it is almost unbearable.. especially at night when it makes sleeping difficult.  Judah and I are staying at Shambalah in a dorm room. Basically it is a long open room with rows of beds all covered with mosquito netting. Saying it is rustic would be an understatement. There are no fans.. no power plugs.. just our beds and one hell of a beautiful view over the ocean. I feel a bit like we are living in an episode of Gilligan´s Island.. or Lord of the Flies minus the whacky children. 

Things are simple here. Really simple. Not much happens and when they do happen it all goes very slow. Businesses are always out of money and never have change. Restaurants run out of food and you have to order three or four times before you actually hit a menu item they have. The fruit juice is amazing though… and the pace although frustrating at first becomes appealing after a few days. I wake up in the morning and I have no idea how much time has passed. I don´t know what day it is.. one day just bleeds slowly into the next. My skin gets darker and darker and the longer I am here the more people recognize me on the streets. Things are starting to get cheaper. Extra food gets put our plates… This is a weird place. So many people come here when they are lost and broken. It is a place where people are seeking something but I don´t think many of them know what it is they are looking for. I love it though.. it is quirky and weird but it kind of gets under your skin somehow. I think Judah likes it too although he also is missing people back home. There are no other foreign kids here. Just Mexicans.. so he is kind of on his own.

Canada seems very very far away. It is like my life there is some distant dream I had. I can´t believe we have been here just over a week. I feel so different. So relaxed. I hope when I return I can keep some of this feeling..

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Adventures in the land of pollution…

15Jan10

Really our trip has been a bit of a gong show so far. Our luggage  was lost on the ferry before we left Canada and we ended up having to do some extra running around before we even got to the damn airport.  Then our plane had a screamer. The turbulents weren´t all that bad but they seem a lot scarier when someone behind you screams and hyperventilates everytime the plane moves a bit. However the plane was near empty and I was able to have three whole seats to myself to lay down which was delightful. Oddly enough Mexican airlines seeem to have more leg room.  It´s funny. It´s not like they are very tall in Mexico but we probably had almost double the space we have on a Dutch plane.

Landing in Mexico was.. well typical. Security went quickly despite us getting the random “you pushed the button and the light went red”  security search.  Our cabbie dropped us off at the wrong place.. the hostel that I booked because it was clean and had decent hot water pressure had.. broken their water and left things a bit messier than it looks in the pictures. Things have been a bit chaotic but we´ve been taking it in stride for the most part.

 Perhaps the funnest part of my trip so far has been watching the wide eyes on Judah. He thinks Mexico city is very loud and stinky but he is also totally enthralled by it. I am relieved. I thought he might freak out a bit when he got here but he has been taking everything in and enjoying it.  We took a subway yesterday to go the Museum of Anthropology. I love the Mexican subway.  It is only a dollar and goes pretty much anywhere in the city. The system is old and run-down looking but it works well and transports almost 4 million people a day around town. We were the only white people on the train and everyone stared at us. Judah thinks everyone here is very friendly but he found the staring a bit much. The trains was so busy too… he was totally blown away by all the vendors selling candy and the blind people coming onto the train blaring music trying to sell Cd´s.  Everything here is so much more in your face. It is a bit overwhelming at first but there is a vibrance about it I like. There is loud  music everwhere and the smell of food coming at you from every direction. People are loud and direct.. yet extremely helpful despite the fact that most them speak no english.

Really I am having a ton of fun despite the twists and turns that Mexico always seems to throw. I miss my husband like crazy but other than that I feel I could just live like this forever. I am extremely comfortable living out of a backpack. There is something about the lack of stuff that I find soothing.  And I love taking things day by day. Monotony and routine leave me feeling drained.  I am very grateful I have this opportunity to take a breather from things even if it is only for such a brief while.

Today we move onto the next leg of our trip… the beach at Puerto Escondido. Wish us luck!

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Tags: adventures, Mexico City, pollution, Travel